


Feelings | Kim Jongin x Reader

by zkdlee



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zkdlee/pseuds/zkdlee
Summary: Jongin is bad with feelings. He’s too nervous, too shy, and definitely too scared to confess. Even if that person is his best friend. He just needs a little liquid courage, and discovers that maybe he’s not as bad with feelings as he thought he was.Warning: language, bar fight, making out
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Feelings | Kim Jongin x Reader

“Nini?”

“Hm?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Kim Jongin, don’t you lie to me.”

Your friend shrank under your stare. 

“ _ Nothing _ ,” he whined. 

“Bear,” you softened, using the nickname you knew he loved. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I just... I’m bad at feelings,” he mumbled. 

“What are you talking about?” You frowned, scooting closer to him. 

The two of you were sitting on a bench, the cool autumn wind whipping your hair around your face. Your hot chocolate was warm in your hands. Jongin sat next to you, fidgeting nervously. He wore a green corduroy jacket with a black beanie and brown pants. You were dressed in a low-cut sweater, a black leather jacket, and ripped jeans. 

“I’m too shy,” he avoided your eyes. Usually, you were good at articulating your feelings through writing, but Jongin couldn’t even write his out without turning bright red and muttering something unintelligible. 

“Being shy isn’t a bad thing you know,” you nudged him. He laughed bitterly. 

“It is when you wanna tell someone how you feel.”

Your stomach dropped. He liked someone? Not that it bothered you. You were best friends. Just because you were both single didn’t mean he wouldn’t eventually find someone attractive. Besides, you had told him about crushes you’d had plenty of times. 

“Why is it so urgent?” You fought to keep the bite out of your tone. 

“Because... what if someone else tells them first?”

He finally met your eyes, his own wide with concern. 

Jongin had the kind of soft gaze that could make any girl melt. His laugh was contagious, and his smile lit up a room. The fact that he would even  _ think _ someone would choose another over him was... well... unthinkable. 

“Jongin...” you sighed heavily. “Whoever picks another guy over you is one, insane; and two, not worth it. Nini, you could get whatever girl you want. I know you can.”

“I’m just not so sure this girl would want me in that way,” he stared at his feet. 

“Maybe not. But then again, you could always dance for her.”

He glanced at you. 

Jongin was an angel just standing there, but when he danced... it was like he finally spread his wings. When he danced he could fly. 

“You really think that would work?” He perked up. Jealously pooled in your stomach. 

“Of course it would,” you forced a smile. 

He pouted slightly. 

“Are  you okay?”

“Me? Yeah, I’m fine,” you laughed half-heartedly. 

He narrowed his eyes at you. 

“Something’s wrong, (y/n/n). What is it?”

“Nothing’s wro—“

“Talk to me.”

You pushed your jealously away. 

“There’s nothing to talk about. Come on, we were supposed to have fun today! Let’s finish up our drinks; the train to the city leaves soon.”

He frowned softly, not entirely believing your facade. 

“You’re right,” was all he said, sipping his drink. 

You nudged him. 

“Hey. Liven up a little, or people will think you’re a zombie.”

“Want me to start eating your brains?” He teased, poking the side of your head. You giggled. That was your Jongin. 

“Ha ha, very funny. Let’s go, zombie boy.”

“Nini?”

You were frowning at him again. Not because he looked sad, but because he was shooting a man on the train a death glare. 

“Mm.”

“Why are you glaring at that guy?”

“Huh?” He snapped out of his angry state, his eyes softening when they found your face. 

“I said, why are you so pissed at that guy? What did he do?”

His brow furrowed. 

“I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”

“He was looking at me?”

You glanced at the guy, who was, in fact, looking at you. He winked, and your cheeks flushed. Jongin noticed, and possessively put an arm around your shoulders. In doing so, he caused you to blush even more, and you prayed he wouldn’t notice. 

“Ignore him.”

“Okay.”

You were quiet. 

“Why was he looking at me?” You whispered the question almost inadvertently. 

Jongin sighed quietly. 

“Why do you think?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled. 

“Look at you. You’re wearing a sweater with a low neckline, your hair is curled, you’re wearing dark eye _makeup_ —granted, it’s not a lot, but it’s  enough . (y/n), you look beautiful. And that can drive any guy crazy.”

Your face was bright red by then, you could tell. Sneaking a look at Jongin, you noticed his cheeks were flushed too. 

_From the cold_ , you reminded yourself. 

_ We’re on a train _ _,_ the other part of your brain added.  _ You got out of the cold a half hour ago. _

“So, where do you wanna go once we get there?” You fought to ignore your internal battle by changed the subject. 

“My sister told me about a nice bar a couple blocks from the subway. It’s not too loud, and less of a club atmosphere. She says it’s got a ‘vintage feel’. I think you’ll like it.”

“Sounds great,” you smiled. 

“Yeah.”

“What’s up? Upset you won’t get to show off your amazing dancing?”

“Ha! I’m sure they won’t be too impressed by contemporary dance. Or ballet.”

“You’re forgetting I hang out in the studio with you all the time. I’ve seen you dance to hip-hop. Don’t act like you can only dance some styles. You can dance to anything better than anyone I know.”

“You don’t know many dancers,” he pointed out. 

“I know enough. Besides, I’ve seen your friends. I obviously would say it to their faces, but you blow them all out of the water.”

“Wow, (y/n). Uh... thanks.”

“I hope I didn’t offend you. You know I’m a pretty honest person.”

“No, you didn’t offend me at all. Thank you.”

“I’m just stating fact.”

You offered him a soft smile. He returned it, glancing down at his folded hands. 

You arrived in the city and walked the couple blocks to the bar. It wasn’t a huge place, but it wasn’t small either. It was decently crowded, and the two of you sat down next to each other on the cushioned barstools. 

Jongin ordered a couple shots, but when he offered you one, you turned him down. 

“I don’t really wanna drink right now,” you shrugged.

“Okay,” he gave you a lopsided smile before downing two of the shots. 

“Take it easy, Ni,” you laughed. 

“I’ll be fine,” he chuckled. 

About an hour later, Jongin’s cheeks were flushed, and he was up enthusiastically dancing to some music.

You beamed at him, shaking your head in amusement. 

“Hey beautiful,” a gravelly voice addressed you. You turned in your seat to see a scruffy-looking man, with long limbs and a hollow face. His stubble and stained shirt didn’t help his suspicious appearance. 

“Excuse me?”

“You look a little lonely,” he sidled closer. You swallowed uncomfortably, your eyes darting to Jongin. He hadn’t noticed you. 

“I’m here with my friend. That one,” you pointed to your friend. Finally, he sensed two pairs of eyes on him and looked up. His eyes widened, then narrowed in skepticism. 

He began walking over, rolling up the sleeves of his white collared shirt. The reveal of his tanned forearms made your stomach flip. 

“(y/n/n)? This guy bothering you?”

“I don’t know him,” you stated. 

“If you could give the lady some space,” he glared menacingly at the guy. You had know Jongin for a long time. He was normally quite soft spoken, sweet, and easily flustered. Now, he was like a brick wall: imposing, tall, andthreatening. 

“I’m sure she’d prefer I stay. Wouldn’t you, sweetheart?” He leered at you.

“Actually, I wouldn’t. Don’t speak on my behalf,” you snapped. 

He gave you a look of distain.

“I don’t need a fatass like you, anyway. Have fun with your boyfriend, slut.”

You gaped at him, the words slamming into you. Jongin was absolutely furious. 

“The fuck did you just say to her, you piece of shit?” He snarled. 

“I said—“

Jongin’s fist slammed into the guy’s jaw. A resounding crack echoed as he hit the ground. Jongin seethed, his lip curled as he stood over the man. 

“That girl has more beauty and intelligence in her left pinky than you’ve ever experienced in your worthless goddamn life.”

“Go fuck yourself,” the guy spat. 

A muscle moved in Jongin’s jaw, and he cursed at the man, causing the bartender to look over. 

“Let’s go,” your friend grasped your arm and dragged you out of the bar before he could get yelled at. 

The pair of your ran into an alley next to the bar. You panted, and your breath visible in the cold winter air, forming thick gray clouds before dispersing into the night. 

“Thank you,” you murmured. 

“Don’t thank me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you.”

“Nini, it’s not your fault.”

“I’ll always be here to defend you, (y/n). Please tell me you understand that.”

His eyes were filled with earnestness and devotion. Your heart clenched. 

“I do. At least let me thank you, though. For being my knight in shining armor.”

His lip twitched up at the statement, his tongue running across his teeth. 

“Knight in shining armor, huh?” He took a step closer. Your heart was practically pounding out of your chest. “You know what a knight does after he saves his princess, right?”

“What?” You questioned breathlessly. 

“He gives her a kiss.”

Alcohol certainly gave Jongin plenty of confidence. 

You were out of room to back up, the alley you hiding out in was cramped. You looked down at your feet, your cheeks flaming, before you noticed a presence by your left ear. 

You shyly glanced up, meeting his eyes. 

Jongin had put a hand flat against the wall, trapping you between himself and the brick. 

You inhaled sharply. 

“There are three steps to a kiss, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. This is the first step.”

“What’s the second step?” You asked daringly. He smirked. 

“The second step?”

He flattened his arm against the wall, leaning in startlingly close. You shrank back, biting down on your lip with a bashful smile. He grinned down at you, his nose brushing your own. You couldn’t help yourself. The smell of his cologne, the warmth radiating off him...

“What’s the third step?” You breathed. 

He gave a low chuckle. 

“Want me to show you?”

You nodded. 

He closed the distance between you, his free hand threading through your hair. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to reach you. He tasted like alcohol mixed with something sweeter. Jongin stepped even closer, pressing you up against the wall and deepening the kiss. His lips trailed down your neck, leaving you breathless, and followed the same path up past your jaw, back to your mouth. You were in a state of euphoria, his soft lips bruising your own. Your fingers dug into his back, feeling the strong muscles under his shirt. 

“I want you, (y/n),” he murmured against your mouth. 

“Do you really? Or is that just the alcohol talking?” You pulled away, staring into his eyes. Even though he had taken a couple shots, they were clear. 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I just didn’t have the confidence to tell you.” He cracked a smile, his dimple appearing in his left cheek. “Didn’t you see me dancing tonight? It was for you, you know.”

You thought back to your earlier conversation with him.

_“But then again, you could always dance for her.”_

_ “You really think that would work?” _

“I’m the girl? The girl you...”

“Yeah, of course you’re the girl. (y/n/n), you’ve been the  _ only _ girl since... a year ago, I think?”

“Jongin...”

“You don’t feel the same, do you?”

“Why would I kiss you back if I didn’t feel the same?”

“I mean... I kind of have you backed into a corner.”

“That’s true,” your mouth quirked into a smile. 

“I’m gonna regret this tomorrow, aren’t I?”

“Mm... you’ll definitely be embarrassed for a couple days. But don’t worry, it’ll pass. Especially if I’m there with you reminding you what you did.”

“And what did I do?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“You confessed your feelings to someone who’s been head over heels for you for years,” you flushed. “Besides, you overcame your fear of emotions.”

“I am  _ not _ afraid of emotions! I’m... just afraid of expressing them.”

You laughed. 

“I love you,” he shook his head in amazement. 

You stared at him, shock painted over your features. 

“Shit. That was too much, wasn’t it? Fuck. Sorry. It was too soon, and—“

“Too soon? Nini, we’ve been friends for ages. It’s more like... a little too late.”

“No... I don’t think it’s too late. I think maybe... maybe it’s right on time.”

“I think so too,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“Let’s go. Maybe you could come back to my place instead of going home? I have popcorn and anime. And lots of blankets. And we don’t have to do anything, you know. We could just cuddle. Only if you want, thought.” His voice got a bit nervous towards the end.

“You had me at popcorn and anime,” you reassured him, your hand finding his. You intertwined your fingers and set off for the train back home, a smile on both your faces. 

As it turned out, expressing your feelings wasn’t as bad as either of you thought. 


End file.
